Dear Diary,
This morning, it was 12 degrees, and the frost on the windows looked thick enough to stay all day. Mini didn’t even want to come out from under the quilt when I got up, but she gave in when she heard me put on my boots. Robert picked us up early again at the end of the driveway. At Church we sat in the front pew near the stove. Robert had brought along some nice walnut wood, and when he stoked the fire, it filled the church with a rich, warm smell.
We read today’s meditation together.
“I pray not for the world, but for them whom Thou hast given Me…” (John 17:9)
Sister explained that Jesus wasn’t saying He didn’t care about the world, but that He wanted to protect us from the spirit of the world, the kind that draws people away from God. Robert nodded and said,
“The world makes us think we need to chase after riches, praise, or comfort. But Jesus wants us to live for Heaven, not for here.”
I listened closely as they continued, thinking about how we renew our baptismal promises to reject the world’s ways. Sister said “It’s easy to think that just because we live simply, we are safe from the world’s influence. But pride, selfishness, and wanting to be admired—those things can creep in anywhere.”
I knew she was right. Sometimes I wish to be noticed, or I don’t like to be wrong, or I want things to go my way. Even though I live on the farm and not in Des Moines, those feelings can still sneak into my heart.
At Mass, Father LeRoy’s sermon was along the same lines. He said,
“The world tells us to seek what pleases us, but the Gospel tells us to seek what pleases God. Even small sacrifices—biting our tongue when we want to complain, offering our chores as a prayer—help free us from the world’s grip.”
After Mass, we went home for a simple lunch—tomato soup and a turkey sandwich made with Sister’s home baked Wonder Bread and mayonnaise. It was warm and comforting, but my mind kept returning to the meditation.
Later, I walked down to the cave with Mini and brought my All for Jesus book. I read a page, but my thoughts kept circling back—am I strong enough to resist the world’s ways? I know what’s right, but sometimes the world’s pull is strong. It’s easy to want to fit in, to want things to be easy, to not stand out too much for being different.
I whispered a little prayer:
“Jesus, keep me close to You. I don’t want to belong to the world—I want to belong to You.”
Mini rested her head on my lap, and I felt peaceful. I may not always feel strong enough, but Jesus is strong enough for me.
With love,
Kathy
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