"Still Here, Even in My Imagination"

Dear Diary

I spent nearly the whole day working on Chapter Four—The Desertion—and now my mind feels both full and empty at the same time.

I sat in the corner by the window with my notebook and tried to get the words just right. I kept seeing that moment—when Kathy (me!) and Sister Mary Claire and Father LeRoy climbed to the top of the hill and saw the ship sailing away, leaving them behind. I wrote it over and over in my head before I ever touched my pencil.

And even though I knew it wasn’t real—not real real—it felt real to me. I am Kathy. And Sister Mary Claire is my sister. And Father LeRoy has that gentle, strong way about him that makes me feel safe even when I’m scared. And Mini was there, and Omelette in her sling.

When I wrote the part where they realized they had been left behind, I had to put my pencil down and just stare out the window for a bit. The wind in the trees outside sounded like the waves from the island, and I thought—what happens to us now?

I’m not sure yet. My brain says I’ll figure it out tomorrow. But tonight I feel like I’m still standing on that mossy ridge, watching the sails disappear and not knowing what to do next.

I curled up with Mini after supper—she knew I was being quiet on purpose. She laid her head on my lap and let out that little sigh she always makes. Omelette was nearby in her basket of straw (inside only for a visit), and even she was settled and still.

I don’t know what’s going to happen to the castaways in my story. But I do know they’re not alone. I wrote that into it on purpose. That no matter what, they have God. And each other.

Just like me.

Dear Jesus,

Sometimes stories are more than stories.
And characters are more than made-up names.
Please watch over the ones I wrote about today—
and the ones I love in real life.

Thank You for giving me Sister Mary Claire,
and Mini, and Omelette,
and for the kind heart of Father LeRoy.

When I feel left behind or forgotten,
help me remember that You never leave us.
Not ever.
Even on islands.
Even in the middle of the night.

Amen.

Love,

Kathy